The internet. A weird and wonderful place.
My Instagram account really began popping off after I started posting dance videos to my account in early 2021. After about 6 months of consistent posting, a handful of my videos went viral and quickly jumped to over 1 million views. During that time, my Instagram account exploded and I was gaining anywhere from 100 to 200 followers per day.
Now here’s the thing: when your account blows up, so do the comments and your inbox messages. I would say that 95% of the messages and comments I receive each day are super positive and really nice (thanks guys!) the other 5% though. Wow.
I quickly learned that those people who fell in that 5% are a combination of lame-ohs, butt heads, arse holes, skeets, weirdos, foot-fetishers (not sure if that’s a word), and creepers. You wouldn’t believe some of the messages/comments I get. I’m going to share my favorite top 10 with you below, in no particular order.
1. I hope you die.
Oh yes. I’ve gotten the old death-wish. Multiple times actually! Who knew that a lil dancey-dance could irritate someone so much!?
2. I hope you fall down your stairs and die. Ah yes. A more descriptive death-wish. To fall down the stairs and die. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you thus far. If I fall down the stairs and die though, I’m going to haunt the f*ckin hell out of you.
3. I want to motorboat your butthole.
I debated sharing this one with the world wide web, but here I am. Truth be told, this shocked me so much that I was completely speechless. And then I laughed, hard. And then I blocked and deleted him.
4. Get a job. Ugh. Just ugh. I own a business pal. Check it out: www.withmel.ca
5. You are not a good dancer. Don’t care! I’ve got dance in my pants and a beat in my feet. Can’t stop, won’t stop.
6. Your feet are huge or something about my feet. This one really gets me. ANYTIME I dance in bare feet, just check the comments. It’s unbelievable. A combination of foot-fetishers and others who feel very strongly that my feet are too large for my body. For reference, I’m 5’4 and my feet are size 6.5.
7. Can I buy your old smelly shoes. This is for real. And that’s a quote. This person commented on one of my videos and also emailed me about this. I didn’t respond, but now I wish I did. Have I missed out on a lucrative business opportunity? If anyone out there wants to buy my old smelly shoes, I will sell them to you. Serious inquiries only.
8. I’d like to buy some of your old clothes. I’ve gotten this request a few times too. Again, I feel like I’ve missed the boat on something here. Serious inquiries only.
9. Can you send me pictures of your feet. I don’t get the foot fetish thing. Feet are weird. They get sweaty and smelly. Sure, a little pedicure can make ‘em look cute, but they’re still feet. Weird, strange, feet. Like, ew. Sick me out. Gagging. I hear some gals out there are making bank selling pictures of their feet though, so again…. Business opportunity?
10. I’ll pay $1000 for your underpants right now. This was the latest and greatest comment received. Can we take special note of the term ‘underpants’?! I blocked/deleted this person, but I do wonder if they were serious. $1000? That’s a lot of money. Gosh, I could pop out to Value Village and send a pair of old granny’s off and they’d never know the difference. I think I’m drawing the line at smelly sneakers and old clothes though.
I promise to continue to keep track of the wild things people say to me on Instagram. So, stay tuned for the next edition of “The 10 Craziest Things People Have Said To Me On Instagram – Part 2” But I need to know, what was your favorite comment?!
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Thanks so much for reading!